This list is from ConNIPtioN.

You believe the Constitution states that Christianity is our official religion.

You complain about the "liberal media" on any of the numerous conservative political TV/radio talk shows.

You actually believe that people actually own AK-47's for "hunting purposes"

You have faith in idiotic economic policies such as "trickle down economics"

You don't see why everyone's so down on Mark Fuhrman.

You think that Michaelangelo's David should be wearing boxers at the least.

The hostess at the Sizzler knows you by name.

You have a button that says "I'm not prejudice, I hate everyone"

You can ask your daddy to bail you out when you lose hundreds of thousands of dollars from embezzling S&L's

Your main source for news is an egocentric man named Rush who distorts facts consistantly to fit his views and opinions.

You want to find another out-of-work actor to play the figurehead for the Republican party (perhaps Bonzo's free)

Your response to anything Bill Clinton says includes a reference to Arkansas hillbillies.

You obsessively impose your own morality upon others.

You wish to ammend the Constitution to make desecration of the flag illegal.

You wish to rewrite the first ammendment to make desecration of the flag illegal.

You wish to rewrite the first commandment to make desecration of the flag illegal (and here, you thought you were such a good Christian...)

You believe that if parents and teachers don't mention sex to a child until s/he is 25, then s/he won't even know it exists until then.

You think Clarence Thomas is a good spokesman for the black community.

You must first don rubber gloves before shaking hands with a homosexual.

You helped to ban Beavis from saying "fire", yet keep a loaded handgun in the house (doesn't matter if it's hidden.. your kid knows where it is, trust me.)

You have a sticker saying "Guns don't kill people, people do" (and I suppose those little bullet things are harmless too)

You believe that everyone else should hold the same moralistic and political views as you, and by God, you're going to see to it that they do!
and finally...

You believed anything on the previous "You might be a liberal if..." list.

Class dismissed!

Thanks to HappyFunLand dot net for this list.

You might be a liberal if...

You think George W. Bush is a bigger threat to world peace than Saddam Hussein...

You think every problem is the direct result of the government not spending enough to solve it...

You think making $100,000 /yr makes you "rich"...

You think Fox News is a biased network, and Al Jazeerah isn't...

You think suicide bombers and other terrorists are "militants"...

The answer to every problem in the Middle East is the end of Israel...

You think Castro is anything other than a petty dictator...

You think a tax cut is bad for, but a tax hike helps the poor...

You think the Dixie Chicks and Tim Robbins should say what they want, but O'reilly, Hannity, and Limbaugh should shut up...

You trust CNN for anything beyond the current temperature...

You think SUVs are supportive of terrorists, but houses with 19 car garages are AOK...

You think wanting the US to win a war is jingoistic...

You think the deaths of soldiers is preferrable to another term of GWB as President...

You liken the Perdue factory to a concentration camp...

You think Clinton was a paragon of ethics...

You think the 2000 election was "stolen"...

You feel my pain...

You think "choice" applies only to abortion...

You think Mumia is a political prisoner...

You think the word "unilateral" is defined as "without France, Germany, and Russia"...

You think that every misbehaving child has ADD or needs therapy...

You're still convinced there are no infidels in Baghdad...

Class dismissed!

PS Got a field trip today. Thankfully it is only half the day. I am praying that it doesn't rain.

Cheryl had a link to a small program (a DOS program to be exact) in which you contruct a picture and then the program creates a profile of you. Here is my profile with my comments. If you would like to download the program, you can find it here.

Character Analysis of: Christopher

You are a born romantic who loves antiques, flowers, historical things and events. People like you are often very intelligent, always creative, and in most cases - possess artistic skills.

Let's just clear up something right here and right now, I hate antiquies and not real fond of flowers. Strike one. However, the rest is okay.

Many people believe they know you, but I doubt if anyone really does: you are deceptive and illusive but well skilled in hiding your true character behind a host of personality disguises. You are prone to avoid 'real' contact with others and, where close relationships are established, always retain a part of your life as private. Most people would never detect these traits in you and would disbelieve these comments ... but we know - don't we ?

Can't disagree with this.

If some people can be described as 'very materialistic' then you represent the ultimate opposite. No amount of wealth or rich possessions could tempt you away from your desire to live as you wish. For you, happiness is built on spiritual foundations; some people with this trait may occasionally be a bit naive.

Well alright! Happiness is definately built on spiritual foundations for me and sometimes I can be a bit naive. Not often though.

In general, others find you easy to approach. However, you can be shy of new people in unfamiliar situations. This trait can lead to people that don't know you well mis-understanding your attitude, and seeing you as unfriendly. As you are affected strongly by people you're with, you tend to try and project an image of yourself which best suits their expectations of you.

This paragraph contains truth. Though I would use a stronger word than shy, I really, really dislike meeting new people and unfamiliar situations and this has lead people to think that I am unfriendly.

Much of what we become is formed in the early years of our life by our parents and family. When you were young your mother was loving and helpful. You don't feel she failed you in any way. Surprisingly, this has not been a major factor in shaping your character and the person you are today. Other major factors in your childhood or adult life have been more influential on you!

Again, completely accurate. My conservative standings certainly didn't come from my mother.

You perceive your father as an uncomplicated person. He was (or still is?) a lovable, jolly dad. He was normally there when you needed him most. This has had a strong bearing on forming your character today. Parental traits, affecting how you like to deal with life, come predominantly from your father.

Not sure about the uncomplicated thing, however, this is the man that loves free hot dogs, popcorn, and the little dixie cup of soda at grand openings. Lunch!

Your mother and father were not a close couple. They are shown in your picture as often divided in their relationship.

I must have put something in the wrong place for this statement. Strike two!

You can be very introspective, often thinking deeply about life and it's purpose. Your picture indicates you possess a major capacity for reflecting on a variety of subjects especially on philosophical or possibly emotional issues. You posses a strong belief in at least one specific discipline: religion, sexual equality, science, animal rights, politics etc.,

Yes, yes and yes.

You are a dynamic person. Passion fuels everything you do or else it isn't done! This energy can lead to turbulent moments in your love life and an attraction towards eroticism. People with this trait and in permanent relationships are most likely to have illicit love affairs. You can be attracted to any type of person who possesses the magic ingredient 'X': sensuality (as
perceived by you).

Hee hee. I think we just struck out.

In life, this energy will help you to succeed at everything you do while the subject possesses you. The problems come when the passion fades and you are left in a position of still having to deliver - this is especially true in career matters.

Or maybe not. This could be true. Maybe the passion part above is correct.

Summary of other traits and personal tastes:-
----------------------------------------------

Decision making : Plays safe - avoids taking chances. Sometimes
Day-dreams most of : Romance or self-heroism. No
Worst Nightmares of: Death, violence, loss of someone you love. I could see that, though I don't fear my own death
General Outlook : Very pessimistic. Not generally

** REPORT ENDS **
Yes it does.

Leave your summary (that last little part) in the comments.

Class dismissed!

Everything I Need to Know, I Learned from the Easter Bunny

Don't put all your eggs in one basket

The best things in life are still sweet and gooey

Walk softly and carry a big carrot

Good things come in small sugarcoated packages

Everyone needs a friend who is all ears

There's no such thing as too much candy

Keep your paws off other people's jelly beans

Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day

All work and no play can make you a basket case

A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention

The grass is always greener in someone else's basket

An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare

To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell

Some body parts should be floppy

Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits

Happy Easter!
_____

And now some dialogue from one of my favorite cancelled shows of the season, Farscape. This is similiar to a dream sequence, both Harvey and John are in bunny suits:

Flash...
Harvey: "Curious holiday, Easter."
John is wearing a white bunny suit. A bright pink egg drops by one of his feet.
Harvey: "Religious leader dies... comes back from the dead, and you end up celebrating like this!"
Harvey is wearing a pink bunny suit and has a basket full of colored eggs. John picks up the pink one and looks at it.
John: "This... is... not... time... to be... messing... with... me!"
John pounds on Harvey's furry back. Harvey hits John in the face and John head-butts Harvey, knocking him over backwards on the grass. He puts a large, furry white foot on Harvey's chest.
John: "You want me to fail, don't ya?"
Harvey: "Quite the contrary, John. Should your planet fall victim... I would not wish to reside in the head that blames itself. Huh!"
John: "You're lying."
Harvey: "I've examined this thoroughly from my... unique perspective, and I believe... your fears are correct. I believe... you will fail."
John is out of breath: "After all that's happened, how do you expect me to trust you?"
Harvey: "Well... I think that... like religion... it's an individual choice. Either you believe and, therefore, bunnies are unnecessary or... you don't, in which case... chocolate?"
Harvey holds up a half-unwrapped chocolate Easter bunny.
Flash...

...So are bunnies unnecessary for you?

Class dismissed!

Before we get to the web sightings, an update on the Palm Classroom. We hit another bump in the road. The Palm Classroom Alert Level has been lowered to 85% sure.

And now on with the sightings.

I'm sure that you have noticed the new feature for the blog. The Sesame Street Terror Alert. Our beloved pals Elmo, Ernie, Bert, Cookie Monster, and Oscar let us know how likely there will be another terrorist attack. Some how when muppets tell us we are about to be dead, life is good.

This entry is brought to you by the color:

Special thanks to Geek and Proud for this service and For What It's Worth for the link.
___

Many times people will stop me in the street and ask, "So what political stereotype are you?" Well that is why I am here, to answer your questions.

Republican - You believe that the free market will take care of most things, but that the government should be there with moderate taxation to provide for national defense and enforcing morality. Your historical role model is Ronald Reagan.

No surprise here. Let me know what stereotype your are in the comments.
___

A momment of silence please...

Thank you.

Apple has killed the original iMac.

___

Do you remember the MASH game that was popular in elementary school? I wasted so much paper playing that game. Well I don't have to and you don't either! Play MASH online.

Here is what MASH told me:
You will live in House.
You will drive a Black BMW Z4.
You will marry Allison Mack and have 1.5 kids.
You will be a Teacher in New York.

Well got one of them, maybe it will come true!

Don't forget to tell me what MASH has for your future in the comments.

Class dismissed!

Some more reading material from the teacher's lounge (hehe). It is similiar but yet a little different from a similiar entry.

You Might Be In Education If...

You believe the staff room should be equipped with a valium salt lick.

You find humor in other people's stupidity.

You want to slap the next clueless person who says, "Must be nice to work from 8 to 3 and have your summers off."

You believe chocolate is a food group.

You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

You believe "Shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.

You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone utters the words, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

Making A's on report cards would make your life SO much simpler.

When you mention "vegetables" you;re not talking about the food group.

You wonder how some parents ever managed to reproduce.

You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge."

You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.

You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would NEVER dream of doing your job.

Your personal life comes to a screeching hault around report card time.

Meeting the child's parents instantly answers the question, "Why is this child like this?"

Mr. Wright, out.

Frodo tried to rid Middle Earth of the ring of power. Most think he was successful, but was he?

Picture found via IdeaJoy.

Mr. Wright, out!

My feelings about fitness and healthy food would be best expressed in a monologue, from the made-for-TV movie "Bran Muffins: The Healthy Life". In this monologue I will recite an e-mail forward that I recently recieved.

Bran Muffins

The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!

(Surgeon General's warning: The previous was entry was not a true depiction of what heaven will be like.)

Mr. Wright, out.

Workin' in an Elementary School
(sung to "Winter Wonderland")

Children scream, they're not listen'
When they go, we're not missin' em',
In all of this pain, we try to stay sane,
Workin' in an elementary school.

Christmas comes, they're excited,
Though our nerves they've ignited,
They're off of the walls, they run in the halls,
Workin' in an elementary school.

In the lunchroom we can hear them yellin'
And we know that they are realy wound.
Someone hits, the other says, "I'm tellin'!"
And that is when our heads begin to pound.

Pretty soon we'll be restin'
Cause our nerves, they've been testin'
We're happy it's clear,
It just come once a year
Christmas in an Elementary School!!!

Maybe there will be snow here in Missouri tonight.
____

Tech info that Anna can skip over. Dean had a link to this wonderful tool for MovableType. This plug-in will look at my entries on my front page and automatically link any scripture references to an online Bible. I don't have to link the myself!!!

Now let's see if it really works:

John 3:16
____

Well I got that question that I have been dreading all year from one of my students. No, no THE QUESTION. The question that I have been hoping that I would have to deal with this year, but it popped up the other day. Guessed what it is yet? Brace yourself... "Is there a Santa Claus?" Actually it was phrased like this: "MR. WRIGHT!!!!!!! Jake says there's no such thing as Santa Claus, and there is, isn't there?" UGH! Usually I use one of the oldest tricks in the teacher's handbook to handle this one, by throwing the question right back at them and making them responsible for the answer instead of me. (I love that trick.) So I replied back, "What do you think, is there a Santa Claus?"

"Well YES!!!"

"Alright then, don't listen to Jake."

Basically, the student heard, "Yes, there is a Santa Claus."

*sigh*
____

In the city of Chicago, one cold, dark night, a blizzard was setting in.
A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner. The people were in and
out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers.

He walked up to a policeman and said, "Mister, you wouldn't happen to
know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight. Sure would be nice to have a warm place
to stay."

The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say John 3:16, and they will let you in." So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, and a lady answered.

He looked up and said, "John 3:16."

The lady said, "Come on in son." She took him in and she sat him down in
a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went off.

The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself: John 3:16.......I don't understand it, but it sure makes a cold boy warm.

Later, she came back and asked him, "Are you hungry?"

He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days and I guess I could stand a little bit of food."

The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat any more. Then he thought to himself : John 3:16..... boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure makes a hungry boy full.

She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a while. As he soaked, he thought to himself:
John 3:16..... I sure don't understand it but it sure does make a dirty boy clean.

You know, I've not had a real bath in my whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out.

The lady came in and got him. She took him to a room, tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers up around his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out the lights. As he lay in the darkness and looked out the window, at the snow coming down on that cold night, he thought to himself: John 3:16.... I don't understand it but it sure makes a tired boy rested.

The next morning, the lady came back up and took him down again to that same table full of food. After he ate, she took him down again to that same
big old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and picked up a big old Bible. She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face.

"Do you understand John 3:16?" she asked gently.

He replied, "No ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it."

She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain to him about Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart and life to Jesus. He sat there and thought: John 3:16. I don't understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe.

You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either, how God was willing
to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do such a thing.

I don't understand the agony of the Father and every angel in Heaven as they watched Jesus suffer and die. I don't understand the intense love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross till the end. I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotton Son, that whosever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions. Jesus
said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

I got this as an e-mail forward today. The reason that I am posting it is this story was made into a play that the kids at my church did some time back and I played a pastor who answered the door to the child seeking John 3:16.

Good memories...

If you want to know more about John 3:16 click here.

Mr. Wright, out!

Begin e-mail forward:

Guess our national leaders didn't expect this, hmm?

Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, Colorado, was invited to address the House Judiciary Committee's sub-committee.

What he said to our national leaders during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful. They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well. It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician, every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert!

These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful, penetrating, and deeply personal. There is no doubt that God sent this man as a voice crying in the wilderness. The following is a portion of the transcript:

"Since the dawn of creation there has been both good & evil in the hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers." "The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field.

The villain was not the club he used. Neither was it the NCA, the National Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in Cain's heart. "In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA.

I am not a member of the NRA. I am not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don't believe that they are responsible for my daughter's death. Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed they had anything to do with Rachel's murder I would be their strongest opponent."

"I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy-it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room.

Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves. "I wrote a poem that expresses my feelings best. This was written way before I knew I would be speaking here today:"

Your laws ignore our deepest needs,
Your words are empty air.
You've stripped away our heritage,
You've outlawed simple prayer.
Now gunshots fill our classrooms,
And precious children die.
You seek for answers everywhere,
And ask the question "Why?"

You regulate restrictive laws,
Through legislative creed.
And yet you fail to understand,
That God is what we need!

"Men and women are three-part beings. We all consist of body, soul, and spirit. When we refuse to acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and reek havoc. Spiritual influences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation's history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries. This is a historical fact.

What has happened to us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine's tragedy occurs politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties.

We do not need more restrictive laws." Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors. No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts.

Political posturing and restrictive legislation are not the answers. The young people of our nation hold the key. There is a spiritual awakening taking place that will not be squelched! We do not need more religion. We do not need more gaudy television evangelists spewing out verbal religious garbage. We do not need more million dollar church buildings built while people with basic needs are being ignored.

We do need a change of heart and a humble acknowledgment that this nation was founded on the principle of simple trust in God!" "As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes, He did not hesitate to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right!

I challenge every young person in America, and around the world, to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him. To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA- I give to you a sincere challenge.

Dare to examine your own heart before casting the first stone! My daughter's death will not be in vain! The young people of this country will not allow that to happen!"

Do what the media did not... let the nation hear this man's speech.

I have checked the validity of the e-mail. See the official transcript at http://www.house.gov/judiciary/scot0527.pdf (This is a PDF file)

Hocus Pocus Alimagocus

...but this is a funny picture. So much for reading being fundamental. Mr. President, you could work on those book handling skills.

Mr. Wright, out!

UPDATE: It's a fake. Thanks to Rachel for giving me a site debunking the altered photos. Here is a real photo.

+First a blond joke...

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one."

She replied that she did not know what it was for, but this piece had always been there. He gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked, "is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."

Now you can veiw the picture...

+Now for a picture...

Have you seen the Halloween flashers? Rated PG-13

+Now for some pictures of some awesome kids. Feel free to tell me how lucky I am in the comments.

+Had my first Social Studies Curriculum committee meeting. We have a large task in front of us and I didn't really realize what I was getting myself into. I just basically sat and listened and wrote everything down. Here's hoping that I don't screw something up.

+My car is back in the shop to be worked on. Hopefully they will actually fix the problem this time. Right now I am driving a very nice and smelly '98 Grand Am that is... teal. Wow. Teal. Teal makes for a nice interior color of a church but not a Grand Am. It is only for awhile.

Mr. Wright, out!

P.S. Can you believe I misspelled teh, I mean the in the notification e-mail? Duh!

Are you ready for you first test? You will need paper and a pencil or a pen. Enjoy this e-mail forward.

Dr. Phil gave this test on Oprah. Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out. Read on, this is very interesting!

Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now ... not who you were in the past.

Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 simple questions, so ... grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers.

Ready?? Begin..

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon & and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with
a) a big, appreciative laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering, you
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted; do you ...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care". You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

I scored 40. Let me know what your score is in the comments.

Please Pray For:
Cheryl and Casey

Mr. Wright, out!

Another fun e-mail forward...

To all my friends in Missouri this is for you. To my friends that aren't from
Missouri, hopefully this well help you understand why people from Missouri
are the way they are and are sometimes deemed "different" than other people
from the other parts of the US of A.

Most of these are pretty on target others are a little less than accurate,
but the last one is the true test of if you are a true Missourian or not.

You Know You're from Missouri If:

1. You've never met any celebrities.

2. Everyone you know has been on a "Float trip"

3. "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six
Flags.

4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they were popular.

5. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles.

6. Down south to you means Arkansas.

7. The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one thing.

8. You know several people who have hit a deer.

9. You think Missouri is spelled with an "ah" at the end.

10. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

11. You know what "party cove" is.

12. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

13. You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What High School did you
go to?"

14. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

15. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

16. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

17. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

18. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it
no matter what time of the year.

19. You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.

20. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's
my coat at?"

21. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or
grain.

22. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.

23. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and jell-o
salad with marshmallows.

24. You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.

25. You went to skating parties as a kid.

26. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

27. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

28. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.

29. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page
but requires 6 pages for sports.

30. You think I-44 is spelled "farty-far." (St. Louis Only)

31. You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.

32. You think that deer season is a national holiday.

33. You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia and
Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas

City. And, the Warrenton outlet mall is halfway between Columbia and St.
Louis.

34. You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the
middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.

35. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

36. You've ever said, "it's not the heat, it's the humidity."

37. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and
Construction.

38. You know if another Missourian is from the bootheel, ozarks, eastern,
middle or western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.

39. You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from
Missouri.

40. You failed world geography in school because you thought
Cuba,Japan,Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool,
Louisiana,Springfield, and Mexico were cities in Missouri. (And they are!)

41. You think a traffic Jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

42. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Missouri
friends!! :)

43. You know what "HOME OF THE THROWED ROLL' means!!!

Got some more? Do you qualify to be a Missourian? Let me know when you comment.

Mr. Wright, out!

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis City Council has established a "Women Only" parking lot at the Mall of America. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons. Click here to see the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in Minnesota.

Oh, that's rich. Special thanks to the Librarians for showing it to me.

Mr. Wright, out!