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January 16, 2003
The Ring

Frodo tried to rid Middle Earth of the ring of power. Most think he was successful, but was he?

Picture found via IdeaJoy.

Mr. Wright, out!

Posted by Christopher at 03:39 PM

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January 14, 2003
My New Philosophy

My feelings about fitness and healthy food would be best expressed in a monologue, from the made-for-TV movie "Bran Muffins: The Healthy Life". In this monologue I will recite an e-mail forward that I recently recieved.

Bran Muffins

The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to
the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare
vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven." The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever-built on Earth.

"What are the greens fees?", grumbled the old man. "This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free, every day."

Then next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.

"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy." The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.

"That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"

The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?" "Not unless you want to," was the answer.

"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..."

"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."

The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!

(Surgeon General's warning: The previous was entry was not a true depiction of what heaven will be like.)

Mr. Wright, out.

Posted by Christopher at 06:26 PM

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December 13, 2002
'Twas the Days Before Christmas

'Twas the days before Christmas,
And all through the school,
The teachers were trying
To just keep their cool.

The hallways were hung
With Christmas art.
(Some made in November
To get a head start!)

The children were bouncing
Off ceilings and walls,
And seemed to forget
How to walk in the halls.

When out of the teacher's lounge
With "holiday shirts"
And "jingle bell jewels,"
The teachers looked festive
Enforcing the rules.

There came such a chatter,
The principal went in
To see what was the matter.

The teachers were hiding
And trying to refuel,
On coffe and cookies
And treats from the Yule.

When what to their ondering
Ears do they hear,
But the ringing of school bells
It's the children they fear!

More rapid than reindeer
The little ones came,
And the teachers all shouted
And called them by name;

Walk Vincent! Walk Tanner!
Walk, Tyler and Sammy!
Sit Jamie! Sit Laura!
Sit, Tara and Tammy!

To your desks in the room!
To your spots in the line!
Now walk to them! Walk to them!
No running this time!

So straight to their places
The children all went.
With fear of detention
Where they all would be sent.

With manuals of lessons
Cradled in arms,
The teachers began
To use all their charms.

But the lessons presented
All fell on deaf ears.
The children were thinking
Of Santa's reindeer.

With a toss of their hands
They put manuals aside,
Went straight to the cupboards
Where videos hide.

And laying their finger
On the TV remote
They sat back to write
Their last Christmas note.

But you could hear them exclaim
At the end of the day--
Have a wonderful, happy day and
L-O-O-O-O-O-NG Holiday!!!!


Posted by Christopher at 09:24 AM

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December 09, 2002
Christmas Songs for Elementary Schools

Workin' in an Elementary School
(sung to "Winter Wonderland")

Children scream, they're not listen'
When they go, we're not missin' em',
In all of this pain, we try to stay sane,
Workin' in an elementary school.

Christmas comes, they're excited,
Though our nerves they've ignited,
They're off of the walls, they run in the halls,
Workin' in an elementary school.

In the lunchroom we can hear them yellin'
And we know that they are realy wound.
Someone hits, the other says, "I'm tellin'!"
And that is when our heads begin to pound.

Pretty soon we'll be restin'
Cause our nerves, they've been testin'
We're happy it's clear,
It just come once a year
Christmas in an Elementary School!!!


Posted by Christopher at 07:23 PM

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December 03, 2002
It Has Finally Happened...


Maybe there will be snow here in Missouri tonight.

Tech info that Anna can skip over. Dean had a link to this wonderful tool for MovableType. This plug-in will look at my entries on my front page and automatically link any scripture references to an online Bible. I don't have to link the myself!!!

Now let's see if it really works:

John 3:16

Well I got that question that I have been dreading all year from one of my students. No, no THE QUESTION. The question that I have been hoping that I would have to deal with this year, but it popped up the other day. Guessed what it is yet? Brace yourself... "Is there a Santa Claus?" Actually it was phrased like this: "MR. WRIGHT!!!!!!! Jake says there's no such thing as Santa Claus, and there is, isn't there?" UGH! Usually I use one of the oldest tricks in the teacher's handbook to handle this one, by throwing the question right back at them and making them responsible for the answer instead of me. (I love that trick.) So I replied back, "What do you think, is there a Santa Claus?"

"Well YES!!!"

"Alright then, don't listen to Jake."

Basically, the student heard, "Yes, there is a Santa Claus."


In the city of Chicago, one cold, dark night, a blizzard was setting in.
A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner. The people were in and
out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers.

He walked up to a policeman and said, "Mister, you wouldn't happen to
know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight. Sure would be nice to have a warm place
to stay."

The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, "You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say John 3:16, and they will let you in." So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, and a lady answered.

He looked up and said, "John 3:16."

The lady said, "Come on in son." She took him in and she sat him down in
a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went off.

The boy sat there for a while and thought to himself: John 3:16.......I don't understand it, but it sure makes a cold boy warm.

Later, she came back and asked him, "Are you hungry?"

He said, "Well, just a little. I haven't eaten in a couple of days and I guess I could stand a little bit of food."

The lady took him in the kitchen and sat him down to a table full of wonderful food. He ate and ate until he couldn't eat any more. Then he thought to himself : John 3:16..... boy, I sure don't understand it but it sure makes a hungry boy full.

She took him upstairs to a bathroom to a huge bathtub filled with warm water, and he sat there and soaked for a while. As he soaked, he thought to himself:
John 3:16..... I sure don't understand it but it sure does make a dirty boy clean.

You know, I've not had a real bath in my whole life. The only bath I ever had was when I stood in front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out.

The lady came in and got him. She took him to a room, tucked him into a big old feather bed, pulled the covers up around his neck, kissed him goodnight and turned out the lights. As he lay in the darkness and looked out the window, at the snow coming down on that cold night, he thought to himself: John 3:16.... I don't understand it but it sure makes a tired boy rested.

The next morning, the lady came back up and took him down again to that same table full of food. After he ate, she took him down again to that same
big old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and picked up a big old Bible. She sat down in front of him and looked into his young face.

"Do you understand John 3:16?" she asked gently.

He replied, "No ma'am, I don't. The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it."

She opened the Bible to John 3:16 and began to explain to him about Jesus. Right there, in front of that big old fireplace, he gave his heart and life to Jesus. He sat there and thought: John 3:16. I don't understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy feel safe.

You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either, how God was willing
to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do such a thing.

I don't understand the agony of the Father and every angel in Heaven as they watched Jesus suffer and die. I don't understand the intense love for ME that kept Jesus on the cross till the end. I don't understand it, but it sure does make life worth living.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotton Son, that whosever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions. Jesus
said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

I got this as an e-mail forward today. The reason that I am posting it is this story was made into a play that the kids at my church did some time back and I played a pastor who answered the door to the child seeking John 3:16.

Good memories...

If you want to know more about John 3:16 click here.

Mr. Wright, out!

Posted by Christopher at 07:56 PM

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October 21, 2002
Darrell Scott

Begin e-mail forward:

Guess our national leaders didn't expect this, hmm?

Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton, Colorado, was invited to address the House Judiciary Committee's sub-committee.

What he said to our national leaders during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful. They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well. It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician, every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert!

These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful, penetrating, and deeply personal. There is no doubt that God sent this man as a voice crying in the wilderness. The following is a portion of the transcript:

"Since the dawn of creation there has been both good & evil in the hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers." "The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field.

The villain was not the club he used. Neither was it the NCA, the National Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in Cain's heart. "In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA.

I am not a member of the NRA. I am not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don't believe that they are responsible for my daughter's death. Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed they had anything to do with Rachel's murder I would be their strongest opponent."

"I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy-it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room.

Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves. "I wrote a poem that expresses my feelings best. This was written way before I knew I would be speaking here today:"

Your laws ignore our deepest needs,
Your words are empty air.
You've stripped away our heritage,
You've outlawed simple prayer.
Now gunshots fill our classrooms,
And precious children die.
You seek for answers everywhere,
And ask the question "Why?"

You regulate restrictive laws,
Through legislative creed.
And yet you fail to understand,
That God is what we need!

"Men and women are three-part beings. We all consist of body, soul, and spirit. When we refuse to acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and reek havoc. Spiritual influences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation's history. Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries. This is a historical fact.

What has happened to us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine's tragedy occurs politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties.

We do not need more restrictive laws." Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors. No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts.

Political posturing and restrictive legislation are not the answers. The young people of our nation hold the key. There is a spiritual awakening taking place that will not be squelched! We do not need more religion. We do not need more gaudy television evangelists spewing out verbal religious garbage. We do not need more million dollar church buildings built while people with basic needs are being ignored.

We do need a change of heart and a humble acknowledgment that this nation was founded on the principle of simple trust in God!" "As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes, He did not hesitate to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right!

I challenge every young person in America, and around the world, to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him. To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA- I give to you a sincere challenge.

Dare to examine your own heart before casting the first stone! My daughter's death will not be in vain! The young people of this country will not allow that to happen!"

Do what the media did not... let the nation hear this man's speech.

I have checked the validity of the e-mail. See the official transcript at (This is a PDF file)

I probably won't be blogging for the next few days, I have parent/teacher confrences that I need to focus on. In the mean time, amuse yourself with the following Today's Special Links (what fond memories).

+Today's Special with multimedia links!
+Classic Nick's Today's Special Page
+Today's Special at Yesterdayland

Hocus Pocus Alimagocus

Mr. Wright, out!

Posted by Christopher at 10:15 AM

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October 10, 2002
I Like President Bush...

...but this is a funny picture. So much for reading being fundamental. Mr. President, you could work on those book handling skills.

Mr. Wright, out!

UPDATE: It's a fake. Thanks to Rachel for giving me a site debunking the altered photos. Here is a real photo.

Posted by Christopher at 12:45 PM

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October 09, 2002
Random Bits

+First a blond joke...

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one."

She replied that she did not know what it was for, but this piece had always been there. He gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710.

He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked, "is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there."

Now you can veiw the picture...

+Now for a picture...

Have you seen the Halloween flashers? Rated PG-13

+Now for some pictures of some awesome kids. Feel free to tell me how lucky I am in the comments.

+Had my first Social Studies Curriculum committee meeting. We have a large task in front of us and I didn't really realize what I was getting myself into. I just basically sat and listened and wrote everything down. Here's hoping that I don't screw something up.

+My car is back in the shop to be worked on. Hopefully they will actually fix the problem this time. Right now I am driving a very nice and smelly '98 Grand Am that is... teal. Wow. Teal. Teal makes for a nice interior color of a church but not a Grand Am. It is only for awhile.

Mr. Wright, out!

P.S. Can you believe I misspelled teh, I mean the in the notification e-mail? Duh!

Posted by Christopher at 09:56 PM

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October 03, 2002
Test Time

Are you ready for you first test? You will need paper and a pencil or a pen. Enjoy this e-mail forward.

Dr. Phil gave this test on Oprah. Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out. Read on, this is very interesting!

Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now ... not who you were in the past.

Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 simple questions, so ... grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers.

Ready?? Begin..

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon & and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with
a) a big, appreciative laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering, you
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted; do you ...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care". You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

I scored 40. Let me know what your score is in the comments.

Please Pray For:
Cheryl and Casey

Mr. Wright, out!

Posted by Christopher at 09:34 PM

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October 01, 2002
You Know You Are From Missouri If...

Another fun e-mail forward...

To all my friends in Missouri this is for you. To my friends that aren't from
Missouri, hopefully this well help you understand why people from Missouri
are the way they are and are sometimes deemed "different" than other people
from the other parts of the US of A.

Most of these are pretty on target others are a little less than accurate,
but the last one is the true test of if you are a true Missourian or not.

You Know You're from Missouri If:

1. You've never met any celebrities.

2. Everyone you know has been on a "Float trip"

3. "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six

4. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years AFTER they were popular.

5. You measure distance in minutes rather than miles.

6. Down south to you means Arkansas.

7. The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one thing.

8. You know several people who have hit a deer.

9. You think Missouri is spelled with an "ah" at the end.

10. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

11. You know what "party cove" is.

12. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

13. You instinctively ask someone you've just met, "What High School did you
go to?"

14. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

15. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

16. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

17. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

18. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it
no matter what time of the year.

19. You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.

20. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's
my coat at?"

21. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or

22. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both

23. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and jell-o
salad with marshmallows.

24. You carry jumper cables in your car and know that everyone else should.

25. You went to skating parties as a kid.

26. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

27. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

28. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.

29. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page
but requires 6 pages for sports.

30. You think I-44 is spelled "farty-far." (St. Louis Only)

31. You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.

32. You think that deer season is a national holiday.

33. You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia and
Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas

City. And, the Warrenton outlet mall is halfway between Columbia and St.

34. You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the
middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.

35. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

36. You've ever said, "it's not the heat, it's the humidity."

37. You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and

38. You know if another Missourian is from the bootheel, ozarks, eastern,
middle or western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.

39. You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from

40. You failed world geography in school because you thought
Cuba,Japan,Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool,
Louisiana,Springfield, and Mexico were cities in Missouri. (And they are!)

41. You think a traffic Jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

42. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Missouri
friends!! :)

43. You know what "HOME OF THE THROWED ROLL' means!!!

Got some more? Do you qualify to be a Missourian? Let me know when you comment.

Mr. Wright, out!

Posted by Christopher at 05:06 PM

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September 16, 2002
Sorry Ladies, It Makes Me Laugh

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Minneapolis City Council has established a "Women Only" parking lot at the Mall of America. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons. Click here to see the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in Minnesota.

Oh, that's rich. Special thanks to the Librarians for showing it to me.

Mr. Wright, out!

Posted by Christopher at 06:12 PM

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